Restless Farewell

On July 13th 2006 I moved to Cairo to work at Maadi Community Church. On July 14th 2008 I'll be returning to Texas after two indescribable years. There is too much to express about this place and in the past few days I have struggled to find the words to describe this past season of life. The following is an excerpt from the book The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran and it expresses perfectly my sentiments about leaving. I'll try and write some words of my own but this expressed my ideas too perfectly not to share with you. So Enjoy.

"How shall I go with peace and without sorrow? Nay, not without a wound in the spirit shall I leave this city.
Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?
Too many fragments of the spirit have I scattered in these streets, and too many are the children of my longing who walk naked among these hills, and I cannot withdraw from them without a burden and an ache.
It is not a garment I cast off this day but a skin that I tear with my own hands.
Nor is it a thought I leave behind me, but a heart made sweet with hunger and with thirst.

Yet I cannot tarry any longer.
The sea that calls all things unto me calls me and I must embark.
For to stay though the hours burn in the night, is to freeze and crystallize in a mould.
Fain would I take with me all that is here. But how shall I?
A voice cannot carry the tongue and the lips that gave it wings. Alone must it seek the ether.
And along and without his nest shall the eagle fly across the sun.

Ready am I to go, and my eagerness with sails full set awaits the wind.
Only another breath will I breathe in this still air, only another loving look cast backward,

These things He said in words. But much in his heart remained unsaid. For he himself could not speak his deeper secret.”

A Taste of Sudan in Egypt

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everyday life.....

Life in Cairo has become normal life for me. Here are a few pictures of why normal life here is a little exceptional. These were taken at the African Hope Learning Center Primary school. These are the students I get to see and serve on a daily basis. I can't walk through the halls without hearing them call out "teacher" and coming to shake my hand. They are always smiling and are some of the most well behaved students I've ever worked with. They want so badly to learn. They teach me about joy and perseverance and life abundant. I teach them the ABC's. I hope that somewhere it works out to be an even trade off.

Photo by Annie Snodgrass

Photo by Annie Snodgrass

I'm so in love with all of this.

in the neighborhood.....

Photo by Annie Snodgrass

A lot has happened in my neighborhood this last few weeks. First the Palestinians broke through the wall separating them from everyone else because they were out of food, gas and cigarettes. Israel wasn’t happy, Egypt didn’t want the Palestinians to get hungry but after some neighbors and friends got mad figured they should round them up and make them go home. Not too far from there someone killed a terrorist mastermind and Hezbollah decided to declare open war on Israel again for another round of “who can retaliate last”.

Then down south rebels in Chad attacked their government and lost while next door in Sudan the government attacked some “rebels” and won. This made more Sudanese seek refuge in Chad while Chad blamed the Sudanese refugees for their rebels because they both hang out on the East side. Chad said the refugees had to go home. Sudan thinks the people in Chad are instigating rebellion also. The UN was there too trying to peer mediate.

Two weeks ago closer to home two rival gangs of Sudanese refugees clashed in Hadayek El Maadi. Somehow some Egyptians got involved and the polive just started throwing people in prison. Four students at the Refugee school where I teach were in the wrong place at the wrong time and ended up being thrown in prison where they wait to find out if they will be deported or not. One of them was badly cut from the fight. His name is Tony and he’s the head of the student council at the school and is part of a music and drama program that the students run independently. He and the other guys in the program have the goal of showing the people around them that not all the youth are joining gangs and beating people. But if you’re black the police don’t assume that you could be very studious or intelligent. Instead they send you back to Sudan.

I also found out recently that one of my students hasn’t been able to make it to school because her mother died and she has to take care of her baby sister. This place is rough. There are places in the world that are rougher and some that are a little easier but anywhere you go life is hard.

This past weekend I went to the desert to go camping with my intern team for three days. Three days for us to get a break from the pain we see daily, from the traffic, from the stray cats, and from the constant weight of this place. Three days running on sand dunes and sleeping under stars. On our return to Cairo we entered the same traffic, dirt, and weight we had left for three days. An hour weaving through honking cars is enough to make you forget any recent vacation. We all agreed that we wish we could have stayed in the desert, in the open, quiet, bright, clean desert.

It confirmed a fact to me that I have continued to realize in my time here. Rest is only found in Christ. He is always peace and light. He is always calm and still. He is our only refuge from this life no matter what weight bears down on us.

He said in Matthew 11:30 “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Ever since I made the decision to come to Cairo to serve Christ here I have not felt an easy yoke or a light burden. It doesn’t seem that anyone in the Bible from Abraham to the prophets to the apostles knew this easy yoke. I’ve been trying to get my head around this idea and I think the answer is in the fact that the easy yoke and light burden are not in serving Christ. The opposite is often guaranteed. The easy yoke and light burden are in Christ himself along with peace, life, breath, and hope. God is not obvious and simple. He must be pursued. In the same way all that dwells with Him, hope, peace, life, must be pursued. Life is not the avoidance of pain from circumstance but the pursuit of peace, faith, hope, and love in the midst of the guaranteed suffering of this world. Life is in the pursuit. All we can do is keep chasing it. Whether we are running or crawling. As long as we are moving forward we are living.

Fullness

As I alluded in the end of my post about my first year, things began to grow in scale in my second year in Cairo. When people ask "how is Egypt" it is a very difficult question to answer because there are so many answers. It's always changing. It’s hot most days. It’s busy. It’s a growing experience. It’s a generic “good”. Really the only way to describe my time here is full. Life here is full.
I came back in August from a month at home to begin my new job. The church was beginning an intern program for our development and outreach ministry. D&O concentrates on meeting the tangible needs of people outside the walls of the church. I was to be an intern in this program, but I was also to be the Lead intern. This meant that I would not only be working directly with one of our outreach ministries but I would also be responsible for the personal development of the other interns. It’s sort of a first among equals type of position.

In the months that followed life filled up.

My five interns arrived and I was searching for the best way to lead them as they went about deciding how to best serve in the vast and needy community of Cairo.

I decided that my main focus and outreach would be to start an ESL tutoring program at a Sudanese refugee school. I was meeting with administrators, creating curriculum, teaching classes of beautiful children, and trying to find a way to make it all sustainable.

I was taking between 6 and 12 hours of Arabic classes each week.

Me and a few other people from the church were creating the beginnings of a new young adults ministry in the church. We were planning events and scrambling at services to get e-mail addresses from every 20 something we saw.

I started a small group for young adults.

I was leading a small group for the youth.

I was helping facilitate a seven week training for small group leaders among the adults in the church.

I was eating, breathing, not really sleeping, running, planning, dreaming, and flying. Life was full.
My responsibilities had gone from few to many, my small group of friends had exploded into a wealth of new relationships, my knowledge of this fascinating place was overwhelmed, and my brain hurt like a warehouse, it had no room to spare. Fullness brought new challenges. New challenges required more of me. More of me required more of God. There was no room for the insecurities that had caused restriction in the past. There was less time to deliberate and more need to take risks. There were new failures and new victories. There were peaks and valleys, some lasting months and some lasting minutes. It was sometimes good and sometimes bad and always life.
It remains that way. Life is still full. I’ll be leaving in June to return to the states and as I see my time here coming to a close I feel a need to consume all the fullness that is in this here. I want to suck the life out of this place.

I want to find better ways to teach my refugee students and a way to make sure that when I leave someone is there to take my place.

I want to enjoy every difficult and joyful growing experience with my interns and learn what it is to give my life for them.

I want to create a community of hope where broken and lonely young adults can find life within the body of Jesus.

I want the youths I mentor to be able to pursue God on their own and in their own unique way. I want my friends to know each day that I love them.

I want to possess every laugh, thought, and song fully in its moment. I don’t want to force life but to pursue it. Life will always happen on its own. I can’t control it. I can only take it in it’s fullness and let it wash over me. I want God to take all I have in this life as His own and make it complete in Him. He is the fullness I feel here. I want my life to be His. I want my life to be full. To pursue life is to pursue Him.

A few photos of the youth intern days.....

DJ White Gravy....my greatest incarnation

Rob and Rob

middle schoolers

i really like to hear myself talk

dude stuff

The Youth Staff: Kelly, Kelly, Travis, Andrea.

My first year. A small tree with a lot of fruit.

My first year in Cairo can best be described as a small tree that bore a lot of fruit.
I had one main focus and that was the youth ministry. I had a few friends my age and that was mostly the youth staff. Some things were big such as the family of seven that I have lived and a city of 20 million people like Cairo never lends itself to simplicity. But in comparison to this year life was simple. It was year that tore down a lot of preconceived notions of others and of self. It was a year that opened up the possibilities of new gifts, like a flickering passion to teach and the occasional new word in a foreign language. It was a renaissance for old passions such as loving people and helping them find the freedom to become completely themselves. It was a year of planning and programming and throwing it all out the window so that God could do what He wanted. It was year where 4 people found a family in each other. It was abundant but simple. The lessons were simple but hard. I was simple but overflowing with life. Maybe the past just always seems simpler. We forget the details and the bumps that have since been smoothed out. And so I remember it as simple, as a small spring pouring forth new water. But the fruit would fall from the tree, the spring would cause a flood, and a wild jungle oasis would grow in the middle of the desert, exploding with life from it's simple beginning.